...I Yearn...

I've been wondering if I was doing the right thing. This newfound liberation and confidence has definitely on a new playing field. I was shocked to see how people reacted to me once, I changed my exterior, and sadly, it was sad. I've been the same person along, but because at the time, I was not deemed 'BAD' I was alienated.

Well, IM BACKKKKKK...and in full effect and certain things have played out within these last 3 months. I have created and been in situations that I would never have dreamt. I've experienced men, friends, and lifestyles that I will blog about for days. But this particular blog, is dedicated to 'Harry'. Not so much about him, but the emotions and feelings he creates when I think/envision him.

It is honest and raw, and hopefully, you'll enjoy that.

So here go..
I can't fully say that, it was lust at first sight. Granted, I was mentally attracted to him. His deep voice and intellectual, stimulating thoughts, provoked thoughts and ideas in my mind. I can't fully tell you, if these things were just a figament of my imaginiation; but he did something to me. I finally got the chance to see if this could turn into something, I was so unprepared.

It was a sunny day and my homegirls and I were lazily enjoying the festivities. Homecoming is always a blast. You see the old, the new, and everything in between. This Homecoming for me, was awesome. I got to see some of my 'haters' and the looks on their faces were priceless. I couldn't tell you how happy and relieved I was, that I could make so many people feel socially awkward. Empowering, say the least.

But there he was. Our eyes made contact, and all I could think about was my mouth joining his. I finally deemed the courage to speak to him with the help of my friends. As I walked over, all these ideas rushed in my mind, superficial ideas, but none the least it occupied my fear.

As I came closer, I realized that his smile brought a sudden warmth and comfort that was not there before. No longer apprehensive, I dove in.

We spoke and flirted and agreed that we would no longer just speak in passing, and he stuck to his promise. Not long after that, I found myself sitting in his apartment reading and talking about ourselves, fears, and culture. I enjoyed the subtle flirtation that was tossed back in forth, but the one thought that dominated my mind, was sex.

Desire took over my body, and I need him, craved him. Realizing both feelings and needs, we headed upstairs. I will refrain from the steamy details, but I will let you know that I have never experienced anything sexually like that before. He literally had me falling in love, and I don't do that.

He took my body places that it had never gone. I had thoughts of doing the freakiest thing to this guy, who was not my man. That's how serious and intense it was.

His lips, his hands invade my thoughts ALL the time. I saw him today in passing, as one of his friends undressed me with his eyes. Totally caught off guard, I was surprised and happy at the same time. I was unable to see him this weekend, and he loafed on me, so I refused to put myself in that sort of position... I will let you know what happens, and hopefully, the results turn out well.

But, all I can say is that there is a yearning that I have never felt, and I DONT WANT IT TO END...

STAY TUNED....

NEW YEAR...NEW MIND

IT's midway into 2009, and as a person, I have grown so much. There have been things and people that have molded and shaped the women you see now...
This blog will be my experiences, thoughts and everything that makes me... ME!

i let that little naive girl go and the Vixen in me is OUT!!

FULL THROTTLE!! NO NONSENSE. NO BULLSHIT. SEXY. INTELLIGENT. MYSTERIOUS. WITTY. CHARMING. ALLURING.

So follow me on my adventure, and trust me, there is always something or someone that makes my life fun, crazy, and all the above. There would be moments of pure bliss, joy, anger, frustration and damn craziness; but hey, who says life is perfect!!